Gyosa Leeya's

Why should we have regrets when were once very certain with the decision we have made?
We shouldn't have regrets now that everything have changed.
We shouldn't have regrets now that we realized the decision we made before this was not ours. We made it not for our own sake but for our future which includes everyone that have been in our live until this day, our loving parents and our family. If we were given a chance to change that particular decision, would we thrive and will we survive ? Again, will we survive knowing that we will be risking our family , our future and most probably our loved ones?

Therefore, there's no place for regrets now that we have already been through the path that we choose. We still survive and that's what matters. Although there's up and down sometimes, at least we still live to tell the tale. Had we take the "road not taken" (choose/decide to go with it differently) , it would have made all the difference. And who knows, the ending might be worst than what we have with us NOW.

So, how do we get rid of the regrets?
I'm not the right person to answer that question. I am searching for the answer myself, the answer that have yet to appear. Very soon, maybe.. very2 soon. There's time for everything. Insya-Allah, if it were meant to be , any road I take will lead me there... hopefully it will...

P's : First Love is hard to forget..... (MFL,2012)

~Ver Que Cuando Te Veo~

The unsolved mystery of a gift

The Birth is the work of our very own national laureate, Suhaimi Hj Muhammad that were originally written in Malay then soon after translated to English by Nur IIyana Mohd Shahrul Hasri. This story is like one of those story where the readers feel unsatisfied with the ending and they wish it was something else. In most cases, with this kind of stories, readers look forward for the ending to unravel all the mystery being depicted in the beginning of the story but unfortunately, the author would just leave the readers to come up with the ending themselves and let the imagination wanders of.

The Birth written by Suhaimi Hj Muhammad was truly an inspiring story. After reading the story, I realized that there are always more to a story then what is seen and that we need to read between the lines to find out what is it all about. The Birth is an amazing tale of a birth that turn to a mystery going through to the end. It is about a woman who desperately needs to give birth after carrying a baby in her womb for about more than 9 months, only to find out that when she finally gave birth, the baby was missing and no one had saw it. The only sign of her giving birth was that of her flat stomach. It still remains a mystery whether she had successfully gave birth or not and if so, where is the baby?

Kin was bestowed upon with 4 children so far and awaiting for the birth of her fifth child that she has been carrying now for over 9 months. The midwife refuses to assist her in giving birth but she does not mind for she was very confident that she would be able to give birth with no complications just like her previous births. She was very sure that everything will be fine unlike her husband, Lan who thinks that it is very risky and fatal for a woman to give birth without assisted by a midwife. Her mother seems to think that way too. This perception of woman could not give birth without assistance is quite similar to the short story entitled The Indian Camp by Earnest Hemingway where the villagers believe that a labour without help from a midwife will be fatal for the baby and also for the mother.

With no sign of giving up, Lan continues to seek the midwife to coax her in assisting Kin with their fifth baby. The midwife only word was that she does not have to come because it would not matter if she comes or not. We can see by her words that something is definitely wrong. She might knew something and was reluctant to tell Lan and Kin. We as readers start to wonder if the midwife had something to do with the disappearance of the off spring right after birth.

Seeing how the midwife would refuse and just smile when Kin’s husband ,Lan ask her to assist Kin in giving birth to their fifth child, Lan started to doubt whether Kin was really pregnant or it was just a case of flabby stomach. Lan was forced to ask the next question that kept disturbing his mind, so he asked the midwife for a confirmation whether his wife is really pregnant or not. Instead the midwife would smile even more and ask him to go back to accompany his wife which is due at any moment now. The midwife confirms that Kin is really pregnant, so does the other several women who were called over to their house. Every one of them was sure there is definitely a baby inside Kin. Despite everyone including her mother who has experienced giving birth said that giving birth is difficult without assistance, Kin still determine to go through it alone. It shows how her motherly instinct drives her to become optimist and brave. In addition to that, having the experience of giving birth to four children so far had reassure her that she can do it this time. Besides that, the presence of her year old toddler with her at times, give her some kind of moral support as she stroke her hair, she knew that she will be fine.

In addition, Kin being a responsible mother of four children did not seem to take what other people were saying about her children. She perceives her children as cute but the folks seem to object that opinion. She reasoned that were the way people are sometimes. They were driven to say things out of spite. We as readers may object to that by the thoughts that they might be true. Most probably Kin’s children are not as cute as she claimed. In every mother’s eyes, their children is perfect and beautiful so there is a possibility the same thing happen with the way Kin sees her children. It is a motherly nature for a mother to perceive their own children as wonderful as can be.

Kin had been carrying the baby inside her womb for about 9 months and 20 days. Study shows that "post maturity" (going over your dates) sometimes causes babies to die unexpectedly while they are still inside the womb and it increases after 42 weeks of pregnancy, and increases again after 43 weeks. However the case, it is impossible to be true because in this story, the baby disappear just like that with no sign that it is still in the womb. If it were a case where the baby die or stillborn, then the baby would have died during the period of pregnancy which is also impossible because the night before the baby disappear, Kin could still feel the baby inside her womb kicked vigorously . This shows that the baby is not dead. Furthermore, when a baby dies inside the uterus before birth, labour may have to be start artificially to deliver the baby which means the baby would not just simply vanish into thin air. There have to be a way to take the baby out of the womb. Hence, there could only be two possibilities which is the baby had been born safe and sound and then kidnapped or the baby had mystically vanished .

At this point, we as readers still cannot get the clear picture of what had happened to the baby. Based on the first assumption, the baby might have been safely deliver with the assistance of the midwife . For all we know, the midwife probably had made an alliance with the infertile woman that came to the house earlier to kidnap the baby. This is because, at first the midwife strongly rejected Lan’s request to help assist Kin delivering their fifth baby but yet when she was actually at the scene, Kin finally deliver the baby and it had disappeared as if it was planned by the midwife. As we can see earlier that day, the midwife introduces Kin to the infertile woman who seem desperate to get a child. Out of compassion, the midwife probably sold Kin’s child to her. It is stated in the story that Kin had heard footsteps outside the house that previous night and that could be the sound of the kidnapper. Kin had worn herself out, she might not even realize that she had already given birth in her sleep that night and most probably with the assistance of the midwife. The next morning when Kin woke up from her sleep, the midwife was there but she was quite.

However, we could not help but ponder upon the midwife’s words that she said to Lan earlier. She said that it would not matter if she was there or not to assists Kin. Most probably, the midwife knows what is going to happen all along based on her experience delivering babies for the past few years. The midwife had assisted Kin in all her previous birth so what makes her refuse to help with Kin’s fifth child? That question must be lingering through our mind. This brings us to the second assumption that most probably the baby have magically vanished from inside the womb. If that is the case then it shows that magical creatures such as goblins do exist. The infertile woman who was being potrayed in the short story most probably is a goblin who seeks a human child. The midwife knows about it so she tried to be there when the delivery happens to ward of the goblins but she failed. And instead of telling them what had happen in the morning, she just sits there in silent.

Study shows that Suhaimi raised four dominant flows in most of his work which is realism, surrealism, mysticism, and existentialism. However, he was more into surrealism in most of his work so far including this short story. It would advocate the idea that ordinary and depictive expressions are vital and important but at the sense of their arrangement must be open to the full range of imagination. This tells us that imagination play a great deal in interpreting this kind of story. Surrealism is a 20^th century style and movement in art and literature in which images and events that are most connected are put together in a strange or possible way like a dream to try to express what is happening deep in the world. The author of this short story, Suhaimi Hj Muhammad has put in surrealism and mysticism element to the story as gist to develop the whole story line.

He had bring a message through his short story that morale have been depleted and humanity was questioned to the extend that someone dare to separate a child from his parents and that of what birth symbolizes for a woman after marriage. A birth of a child in a family symbolizes a greater commitment between man and wife and will strengthen the life they have after marriage. The responsibility they have to take care of the child and the love they shares for the child will tighten the bond between husband and wife. The husband would feel thankful to the wife for making his dream of becoming a father a reality and will feel touched by the sacrifices of the wife going into pregnancy as everyone knows that labour is not an easy task. In another sense, the birth itself symbolizes a gift from god to man and wife for their life after marriage.

The author somehow portrays how people in that era view an infertile woman and made it into a laughing stock just because the woman could not bare a child. It also shows how much birth means to a woman after marriage. It gives us an insight of how terrible it would be like to a woman who cannot be able to bear a child. In real life, it is at this point when the husband finds out that his wife cannot give him a child that he started to think of polygamy and the wife who would feel insecure would result in agreement. There are few cases of women with infertility problem who results in stealing a child of others. Some of them would just buy the baby from a poverty stricken family that needs money more than they need the off spring and disconnect all ties the baby had with the family after the transaction have been made.

This short story had remind me about an event that had happen to my aunt. She was schedule to be in labour in the middle of November last year but she was still carrying the baby in her womb until December that year. Everyone was shocked to hear that she have yet given birth. They were afraid that the baby had long been dead in her womb. That would explain why she has not experienced contractions for the past few weeks. The doctor suspected the baby might have died in pregnancy one month before. The family were devastated once they heard the news as it was the first new born for the couple. Later, the doctor schedules an induction to artificially start the labour process. Her womb was taken out due to infection and she had become infertile. The things that happen afterwards were imaginable and very traumatic for my aunt to go through. She was in the merge of becoming crazy for the first four month after the tragedy. They were fortunate to find a pregnant woman who was willing to give away her child to them or else my aunt’s condition would have worsened. Four months later, she gave birth to a beautiful baby girl and gave her to my aunt. Being infertile for most women can be stressful and sometime if they are not strong enough they might result in mental disorder or ended up with crime such as baby-snapper or baby snatcher.

*A Reader's review (my own) on the short story The Birth By Suhaimi Hj Muhammad.

*You might wanna try reading it yourself now as it is truly a remarkable story.

~Ver Que Cuando Te Veo~

Gyosa Leeya's

Friday, September 21, 2012

One Love

YADEIN

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Vengeance... pure satisfaction or pure denial?

ALONE In Literal Meaning

Friday, March 2, 2012

Regrets

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Close Analysis (The Birth By Suhaimi hj Muhammad)